








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 666 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1008 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 852 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,455 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cow go moo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | WillOwispss | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Elmo The FireMaster | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | kuus1k | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | StRangeR | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | StRangeR | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | Ps1cho | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | tomk | 48% | 50 |
| #8 | Jonsu | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | CSGOD | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CSGOD | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | tomk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | WillOwispss | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CSGOD | 115 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | tomk | 113 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jonsu | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | kuus1k | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ps1cho | 31 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomk | +3.81 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | StRangeR | +3.00 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | CSGOD | +1.79 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | WillOwispss | +1.33 | 39 | 42 |
| #5 | cow go moo | +1.26 | 74 | 31 |





