








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 840 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1524 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 928 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,135 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mads! (Maskinen) | 67% | 15 |
| #8 | Opus | 50% | 44 |
| #9 | Sadduck :( CS.money | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | slaskmormor | 38% | 42 |
| #11 | Guld Glen | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slaskmormor | 176 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Straight Busta | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Opus | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sadduck :( CS.money | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Guld Glen | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |





