








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1199 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1672 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1140 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,355 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlatPepsi | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | BλDDIE | 65% | 52 |
| #3 | Ryan | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | -JoeYeah | 63% | 73 |
| #5 | junk1E | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ryan | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | -JoeYeah | 63% | 73 |
| #5 | junk1E | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | PUCK | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | kc1n | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BλDDIE | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | junk1E | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | -JoeYeah | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Ryan | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | kc1n | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BλDDIE | 123 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | PUCK | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | -JoeYeah | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ryan | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | FlatPepsi | 31 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kc1n | +4.90 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | WobblyOrphan | +3.00 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Ryan | +2.43 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | FlatPepsi | -0.11 | 37 | 56 |
| #5 | PUCK | -0.19 | 45 | 64 |





