








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 611 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8342 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6250 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5680 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5785 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,408,870 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizo | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Chaos | 50% | 256 |
| #3 | MastaL | 50% | 286 |
| #4 | Fishure | 41% | 73 |
| #5 | FireSt0rm | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizo | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Chaos | 50% | 256 |
| #3 | MastaL | 50% | 286 |
| #4 | Fishure | 41% | 73 |
| #5 | FireSt0rm | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MastaL | 85 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Fishure | 22 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Chaos | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | schizo | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | FireSt0rm | 7 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MastaL | 631 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Chaos | 335 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fishure | 195 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | schizo | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | FireSt0rm | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaos | +2.20 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | wHol | +1.06 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | schizo | +0.40 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Fishure | -0.95 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | MastaL | -1.04 | 64 | 51 |





