








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
56 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12 | 60% |
| Smokes | 2 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 5 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,700 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Random_observer | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Car go broom broom | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Winterwolf2014 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | R0ALT | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Random_observer | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Car go broom broom | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Winterwolf2014 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | R0ALT | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Car go broom broom | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | R0ALT | 2 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Random_observer | 1 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Winterwolf2014 | 1 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Car go broom broom | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | Random_observer | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | R0ALT | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Winterwolf2014 | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Random_observer | +5.04 | 37 | 52 |
| #2 | Winterwolf2014 | +2.93 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Car go broom broom | +0.87 | 37 | 33 |
| #4 | R0ALT | -1.90 | 51 | 37 |
| #5 | The Big H | -5.35 | 7 | 10 |





