








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 24% |
| Smokes | 549 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 688 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,895 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mebisa | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | Börje :-D | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | Janeckin | 29% | 35 |
| #13 | Wolfies | 20% | 5 |
| #14 | Kumivene Soodu | 0% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janeckin | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | LJ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Wolfies | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Börje :-D | +2.67 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | ww | +1.63 | 65 | 56 |
| #3 | EniXoJesus- | +1.13 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | ♥WESTI♥ | +1.11 | 50 | 77 |
| #5 | ᴛᴍᴘ ツ | -0.25 | 74 | 51 |





