








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4644 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3731 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3342 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2817 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $806,202 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨⓚⓤⓝⓓⓐ | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | ☢ MAL0RKA ☢ | 46% | 312 |
| #9 | Mafy | 43% | 168 |
| #10 | SWEN | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Red | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ MAL0RKA ☢ | 49 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | ĐaveӾ™ | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mafy | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | SWEN | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Red | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ MAL0RKA ☢ | 830 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | Mafy | 268 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨⓚⓤⓝⓓⓐ | 97 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mitu | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | SWEN | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerryman | +3.28 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | ĐaveӾ™ | +2.27 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | Ⓗⓐⓟⓟⓨⓚⓤⓝⓓⓐ | +1.68 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | Red | +1.52 | 95 | 51 |
| #5 | Puffin | +1.12 | 70 | 66 |





