








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 541 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




143 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8551 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5508 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4800 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,892 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volkswagen | 53% | 205 |
| #2 | sysy gniok | 50% | 311 |
| #3 | Lolju | 50% | 199 |
| #4 | SNUS LORD | 49% | 330 |
| #5 | Ka10pi | 43% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sysy gniok | 50% | 311 |
| #3 | Lolju | 50% | 199 |
| #4 | SNUS LORD | 49% | 330 |
| #5 | Ka10pi | 43% | 247 |
| #6 | wolph | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volkswagen | 46 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Lolju | 37 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | SNUS LORD | 26 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | sysy gniok | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | wolph | 10 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNUS LORD | 1061 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #2 | Lolju | 759 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | Volkswagen | 725 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | sysy gniok | 481 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Ka10pi | 195 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wae | +2.51 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Lolju | +1.07 | 67 | 79 |
| #3 | sysy gniok | +0.27 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | SNUS LORD | -0.54 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | wolph | -1.06 | 67 | 45 |





