








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1033 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2505 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,092 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4nkkkkk | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | .Ivanooooo +} | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | Novaaaaa | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4nkkkkk | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | .Ivanooooo +} | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | Novaaaaa | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Ivanooooo +} | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Novaaaaa | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | cr4nkkkkk | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4nkkkkk | 162 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Novaaaaa | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | .Ivanooooo +} | 123 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultner Ape | +1.91 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | cr4nkkkkk | -0.03 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | .Ivanooooo +} | -0.09 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Novaaaaa | -1.62 | 50 | 59 |





