








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2362 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1708 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,152 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noobin | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | lanaevem | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | PurplySkye (◕‿◕✿) | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | Frizzinn | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | [G] ZingyZou | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noobin | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | lanaevem | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | PurplySkye (◕‿◕✿) | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | Frizzinn | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | [G] ZingyZou | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurplySkye (◕‿◕✿) | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | lanaevem | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | [G] ZingyZou | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurplySkye (◕‿◕✿) | 499 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | lanaevem | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Frizzinn | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | [G] ZingyZou | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | noobin | 28 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurplySkye (◕‿◕✿) | +1.62 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | elle ɘllɘ ǝllǝ | +0.81 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | lanaevem | +0.41 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | Frizzinn | -0.47 | 35 | 62 |
| #5 | noobin | -1.74 | 28 | 50 |





