








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1126 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1393 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 108 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,317 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kLarky | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | MeatShield | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | KKGB | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | geography | 52% | 106 |
| #5 | Malink | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KKGB | 53% | 133 |
| #4 | geography | 52% | 106 |
| #5 | Malink | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | jon cornbone | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | shminimin | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geography | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | KKGB | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | jon cornbone | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | kLarky | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | shminimin | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KKGB | 408 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | jon cornbone | 224 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | geography | 183 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | MeatShield | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Malink | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br1c | +2.93 | 79 | 41 |
| #2 | Malink | +1.69 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | kLarky | +0.96 | 78 | 46 |
| #4 | KKGB | +0.66 | 66 | 74 |
| #5 | shminimin | -0.07 | 77 | 38 |





