








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 945 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,667 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glepic | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Saarlaender Arschkintzler | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Sveta | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | MeinSalatBrennt | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | Superlama | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sveta | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | MeinSalatBrennt | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | Superlama | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | OrangensaftK-Alpha | 30% | 23 |
| #7 | Nadrox | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeinSalatBrennt | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Saarlaender Arschkintzler | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Glepic | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | OrangensaftK-Alpha | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Sveta | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saarlaender Arschkintzler | 106 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | MeinSalatBrennt | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Glepic | 57 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Superlama | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | OrangensaftK-Alpha | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saarlaender Arschkintzler | +6.36 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Glepic | +6.18 | 67 | 47 |
| #3 | Superlama | +0.71 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Pommels | +0.36 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | Nadrox | +0.18 | 67 | 25 |





