








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2328 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3105 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2439 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2360 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,125 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rrhi | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | Noda Fera #teampositivity | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | Pete Weber | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | frogchamp | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Crantum | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TTV] aQtippッ | 329 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | veg | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pete Weber | 103 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | frogchamp | 87 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noda Fera #teampositivity | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JET | +3.42 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | veg | +3.22 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | Pete Weber | +1.09 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | [TTV] aQtippッ | +0.85 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | Noda Fera #teampositivity | +0.77 | 73 | 47 |





