








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1159 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 192 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 311 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,643 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Glablin | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Mey 🖤 | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Mootball Feetlong | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | Fridgearators | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Glablin | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Mey 🖤 | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Mootball Feetlong | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | Fridgearators | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Fridgearators | 3 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Glablin | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Mootball Feetlong | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Mey 🖤 | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glablin | 207 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Goober | 78 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mootball Feetlong | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fridgearators | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mey 🖤 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glablin | +2.67 | 53 | 51 |
| #2 | Fridgearators | +0.17 | 48 | 30 |
| #3 | Goober | -1.38 | 37 | 31 |
| #4 | La Última Salemita | -2.46 | 26 | 22 |
| #5 | Mootball Feetlong | -3.34 | 32 | 29 |





