








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1463 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,537 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Berksman | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | ✪ MoD | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | TYX | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | Fattah | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | habig | 17 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | TYX | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ✪ MoD | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Berksman | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Fattah | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYX | 245 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Fattah | 208 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | habig | 198 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ MoD | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Berksman | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |





