








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21216 | 36% |
| Smokes | 15904 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10069 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 12199 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,714,574 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Essentuan | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | Darkrenga | 51% | 566 |
| #6 | chiken | 50% | 78 |
| #7 | Good110 | 49% | 143 |
| #8 | doggc | 46% | 142 |





