








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1456 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,369 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phatboi | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | ThisIsNotAHoax | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | GLORY LIBERIA GLORY | 46% | 136 |
| #4 | Twizz | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | [G] ᚱ ᛁ ᛗ ᚾ | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GLORY LIBERIA GLORY | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ThisIsNotAHoax | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Sora | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Twizz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | [G] ᚱ ᛁ ᛗ ᚾ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThisIsNotAHoax | +1.14 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | [G] ᚱ ᛁ ᛗ ᚾ | +1.08 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Phatboi | +0.93 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | GLORY LIBERIA GLORY | +0.90 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | Twizz | +0.37 | 53 | 62 |





