








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 102 | 16% |
| Smokes | 280 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 46 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 191 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,539 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waffles | 48% | 31 |
| #2 | 我愛你 INTERMEDIATE | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | CigMuncher413 | 44% | 102 |
| #4 | Tent-Sandles | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | CVAG | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CVAG | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Cash | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Waffles | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | CigMuncher413 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Macca389669 | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CVAG | 226 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | CigMuncher413 | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | nSark | 121 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | Waffles | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cash | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我愛你 INTERMEDIATE | +3.16 | 70 | 50 |
| #2 | CVAG | +1.84 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | nSark | +1.41 | 48 | 50 |
| #4 | Macca389669 | +1.21 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | Wilson | +1.15 | 63 | 17 |





