








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 305 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7233 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5736 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3519 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5792 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,957 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISSA ME EDGIK | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | d1ckie` | 64% | 85 |
| #3 | flake | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 57% | 147 |
| #5 | nakashiíva | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISSA ME EDGIK | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | d1ckie` | 64% | 85 |
| #3 | flake | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 57% | 147 |
| #5 | nakashiíva | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1ckie` | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ISSA ME EDGIK | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | flake | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | nakashiíva | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/darmstati | 300 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | flake | 173 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | d1ckie` | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ISSA ME EDGIK | 73 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | nakashiíva | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISSA ME EDGIK | +3.02 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/darmstati | +2.22 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | simplythebest | +1.53 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | flake | +0.16 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | d1ckie` | -0.66 | 69 | 62 |





