








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2753 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1659 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2050 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1315 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,963 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fedelovv.- ♥ -ssj- | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Ľudoweed Skúr | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Mike | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | legend come back | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | bulbash | 52% | 98 |





