








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2259 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,014 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weakest™ | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | dLucK | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | 𝑫𝒐𝒑𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | YeltsaKcir_GB | 6 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | 🖤Karu | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dLucK | 286 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dôn Tuyết | 265 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Al4xander | 86 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝑫𝒐𝒑𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | YeltsaKcir_GB | 74 | 0.21 | 2 min |





