








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 298 | 24% |
| Smokes | 158 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 247 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,741 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jmac | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Burnt-iwnl- | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | Golden Gino | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Clev | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | keckles | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dscott | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | HTKLilGoose | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Clev | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dscott | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Burnt-iwnl- | 82 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #3 | Futuure | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Golden Gino | 31 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | HTKLilGoose | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keckles | +3.17 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Insidious | +2.26 | 92 | 40 |
| #3 | HTKLilGoose | +1.89 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | jmac | +1.11 | 83 | 78 |
| #5 | Burnt-iwnl- | +0.53 | 68 | 75 |





