








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3428 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1999 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2880 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,597 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tooba | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | :> | 51% | 227 |
| #3 | 7.62 God | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | tom foolery | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tooba | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | :> | 51% | 227 |
| #3 | 7.62 God | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | tom foolery | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :> | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | tom foolery | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | tooba | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | 7.62 God | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :> | 428 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | tooba | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | tom foolery | 174 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | 7.62 God | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tooba | +2.38 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | tom foolery | +1.82 | 92 | 50 |
| #3 | :> | +1.70 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | 7.62 God | -1.38 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | d1v | -1.74 | 69 | 61 |





