








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1880 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2046 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1745 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,247 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colydee | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | Manel SC | 61% | 129 |
| #3 | jofimeca | 61% | 113 |
| #4 | Pītā | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | #☝Teixeira☝# society.gg | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Manel SC | 61% | 129 |
| #3 | jofimeca | 61% | 113 |
| #4 | Pītā | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | #☝Teixeira☝# society.gg | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | ☣ⓂⓄⓃⒶ☣ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manel SC | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | jofimeca | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Pītā | 10 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | colydee | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | #☝Teixeira☝# society.gg | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jofimeca | 672 | 0.29 | 21 min |
| #2 | Manel SC | 225 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Pītā | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | colydee | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | #☝Teixeira☝# society.gg | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akumu | +2.37 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | colydee | +1.73 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Manel SC | +0.40 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | jofimeca | +0.12 | 65 | 78 |
| #5 | #☝Teixeira☝# society.gg | -0.33 | 76 | 62 |





