








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 540 | 26% |
| Smokes | 450 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,630 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popcorn | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | KQLY Cooler Master | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | Me-WOW | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popcorn | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | KQLY Cooler Master | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | Me-WOW | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KQLY Cooler Master | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Popcorn | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KQLY Cooler Master | 77 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Popcorn | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Me-WOW | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popcorn | +2.97 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Elias. F | +1.56 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | KQLY Cooler Master | -0.66 | 34 | 34 |
| #4 | Me-WOW | -2.55 | 85 | 44 |





