








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2487 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1554 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,874 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Orbis_unum | 48% | 130 |
| #5 | Kilz Inc.™ | 47% | 77 |
| #6 | simpson | 46% | 127 |
| #7 | VerdunAlpha | 45% | 55 |
| #8 | fyn3st | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hitler | 26 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | adlan | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Orbis_unum | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | VerdunAlpha | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | simpson | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VerdunAlpha | +1.39 | 54 | 49 |
| #2 | adlan | +1.12 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | A-L1VE | +0.80 | 78 | 35 |
| #4 | Hitler | +0.68 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | simpson | +0.16 | 63 | 60 |





