










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1561 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1548 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1379 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1217 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,175 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Deidy Costa M.D. | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | gett2k | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | -=NEG@O_DO_HEAD$HOT=- | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | ƘɑƒҽԵՏ | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ♿ [̲̅ร̲̅ρ̲̅x̲̅] ☁ ツ ♱ | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | EagleCookie | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | B E R G <pvh> | 50% | 52 |
| #8 | Luna | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Jhon94 | 38% | 65 |
| #10 | sopax | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jhon94 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | B E R G <pvh> | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ♿ [̲̅ร̲̅ρ̲̅x̲̅] ☁ ツ ♱ | 2 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jhon94 | 235 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | -=NEG@O_DO_HEAD$HOT=- | 187 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #3 | gett2k | 103 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #4 | B E R G <pvh> | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dr. Deidy Costa M.D. | 63 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=NEG@O_DO_HEAD$HOT=- | +5.45 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | gett2k | +3.96 | 55 | 77 |
| #3 | Dr. Deidy Costa M.D. | +3.25 | 57 | 75 |
| #4 | sopax | +2.95 | 45 | 66 |
| #5 | EagleCookie | +1.25 | 48 | 83 |





