








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 337 | 10% |
| Smokes | 800 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,130 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Käsekuchen Klaus | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | device | 46% | 59 |
| #6 | BEASTツ | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Carsten | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | gandolf | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gandolf | +1.40 | 54 | 41 |
| #2 | Golemin | +1.33 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | Käsekuchen Klaus | +0.99 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | device | +0.75 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | BEASTツ | +0.29 | 52 | 56 |





