








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Italy | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9610 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9270 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7981 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9114 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,094 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8k hours on controller | 503 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bind mwheeldown +jump #fcs2 | 391 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bind | 358 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | zazzel | 332 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | kehil | 310 | 0.17 | 3 min |





