








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9546 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6265 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6688 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6055 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,629,319 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mouren | 647 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | 滅 | 587 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | DARBOĞAZ METİN | 367 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | abysstract | 306 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | hold my beer | 237 | 0.15 | 5 min |





