








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2027 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3956 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,425 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linus sus tips | 61% | 211 |
| #2 | js better | 61% | 131 |
| #3 | kiteniszhat | 58% | 173 |
| #4 | 我操你媽 | 57% | 117 |
| #5 | Abdul Ihn Ah Ersz Ursz Ihn Ohn | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我操你媽 | 21 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | js better | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Marmur? | 9 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | Abdul Ihn Ah Ersz Ursz Ihn Ohn | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | linus sus tips | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RussianDoge | +3.44 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | js better | +1.65 | 74 | 37 |
| #3 | linus sus tips | +0.71 | 67 | 48 |
| #4 | Versty | +0.34 | 68 | 31 |
| #5 | 我操你媽 | +0.14 | 71 | 62 |





