








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 735 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1487 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1227 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,025 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ez | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | ally. | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | 030 | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | wotah. | 53% | 91 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | 52% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | 030 | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | JackTheTripper | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ez | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | ally. | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wotah. | 455 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | 321 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | mat | 234 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | 030 | 223 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | JackTheTripper | 173 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ez | +2.23 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | +1.64 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Dogtor | +1.52 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | wotah. | +1.46 | 78 | 76 |
| #5 | c00kie ツ | +0.98 | 76 | 75 |





