








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3055 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2548 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1817 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2608 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,829 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staffy | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | POOKER | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Papa Ultra | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | xpl1cit˚·。 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpl1cit˚·。 | +3.78 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | POOKER | +3.08 | 89 | 77 |
| #3 | Papa Ultra | -0.40 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | Clumsy Smurf | -0.74 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | Staffy | -0.89 | 68 | 54 |





