








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 31% |
| Smokes | 101 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,287 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urinary incontinence | 38% | 42 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urinary incontinence | 38% | 42 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urinary incontinence | 42 | 0.0611 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 15 | 0.0310 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #2 | urinary incontinence | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spookydood | +0.39 | 64 | 7 |
| #2 | urinary incontinence | -1.94 | 21 | 3 |
| #3 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | -3.23 | 13 | 11 |





