








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3481 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6145 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3472 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3705 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,714,475 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | chøw | 47% | 55 |
| #9 | turkey time | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | BlingBlaow (DantianDestroyer) | 45% | 102 |
| #11 | JotaroGOONER | 44% | 64 |
| #12 | Hugh Janus | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fighto | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | BlingBlaow (DantianDestroyer) | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | nkav | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | JotaroGOONER | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Hugh Janus | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nkav | 283 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | chøw | 209 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | JotaroGOONER | 192 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Amus | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | BlingBlaow (DantianDestroyer) | 156 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fighto | +2.89 | 76 | 38 |
| #2 | turkey time | +2.58 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | nkav | +2.49 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | melvski! ツ | +1.61 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | ✪Mr. DUMMA | +0.48 | 55 | 63 |





