








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 516 | 26% |
| Smokes | 555 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 323 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 603 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,944 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balkan rage | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | The9To5ManMeets | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | BagTalk23 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Tea | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Markeys | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Akidna Sainasylum | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | BagTalk23 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The9To5ManMeets | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tea | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Markeys | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | balkan rage | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Akidna Sainasylum | 18 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balkan rage | +3.29 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | BagTalk23 | +1.26 | 51 | 17 |
| #3 | Tea | +1.23 | 78 | 41 |
| #4 | Markeys | +0.61 | 41 | 47 |
| #5 | The9To5ManMeets | -0.01 | 39 | 48 |





