








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 20% |
| Smokes | 568 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1022 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,305 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 960 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | gazza | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | G59 | 51% | 72 |
| #4 | Imeasycupcake | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Tова́рищ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earthquake-R9 | 15 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | G59 | 14 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Geezy | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Imeasycupcake | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | GoldenCoachTK | 5 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gazza | +7.86 | 89 | 41 |
| #2 | Tова́рищ | +3.57 | 65 | 28 |
| #3 | GoldenCoachTK | +3.26 | 52 | 41 |
| #4 | Its Jojo | +1.97 | 65 | 34 |
| #5 | Zero | +0.80 | 68 | 47 |





