








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




463 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3290 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6841 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3487 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3719 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,833,905 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Estrogen monkey | 411 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kettujoki | 313 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tenpu | 256 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Your Mom´s Favorite | 222 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | loitsuq ❤ | 112 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasty Bathwater | +1.23 | 46 | 42 |
| #2 | Kettujoki | +1.23 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | Tenpu | +1.12 | 43 | 54 |
| #4 | loitsuq ❤ | +0.69 | 31 | 40 |
| #5 | Estrogen monkey | +0.14 | 64 | 59 |





