








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6469 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7358 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5765 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6155 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,771,559 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLix マ | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | tshiken | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | PlodyRed | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | ⌖ | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Terminator | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLix マ | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | tshiken | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | PlodyRed | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | ⌖ | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Terminator | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | tshiken | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sLix マ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Terminator | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | PlodyRed | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 349 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | tshiken | 248 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | PlodyRed | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Terminator | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | sLix マ | 49 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlodyRed | +2.27 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | tshiken | +2.25 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Ryku | +1.89 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | ⌖ | +1.22 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Terminator | -0.34 | 90 | 47 |





