








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 32% |
| Smokes | 986 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 532 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 670 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,838 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morse | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | 乡 Hemmy | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Fernando | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Cheery | 44% | 57 |
| #5 | niko | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ben246813 | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Freeze | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | gus | 41% | 49 |
| #10 | vortex | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | † 欲望 | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gus | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Freeze | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Cheery | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Morse | 2 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | † 欲望 | 2 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gus | 241 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cheery | 193 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Freeze | 123 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | niko | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fernando | 81 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乡 Hemmy | +1.08 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | gus | +0.94 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Freeze | +0.85 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | vortex | +0.60 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | niko | -0.03 | 81 | 49 |





