










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 335 | 30% |
| Smokes | 206 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 278 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 295 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,301 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperR0ck | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Cloud | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Vince | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | MrValerio19 | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | 5w1tch2 | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5w1tch2 | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Nashbrowns2 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Cloud | 1 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5w1tch2 | 102 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nashbrowns2 | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Muffinman | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | MrValerio19 | 19 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cloud | 16 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vince | +4.27 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | MrValerio19 | +3.44 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Cloud | +1.97 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Spartan | -0.06 | 77 | 51 |
| #5 | 5w1tch2 | -0.35 | 48 | 60 |





