








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 963 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7207 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4943 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4829 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,362 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy Quixx | 49% | 139 |
| #2 | DrMonkeyMan | 47% | 379 |
| #3 | Koda | 47% | 538 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy Quixx | 49% | 139 |
| #2 | DrMonkeyMan | 47% | 379 |
| #3 | Koda | 47% | 538 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koda | 65 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | DrMonkeyMan | 22 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Groovy Quixx | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy Quixx | 823 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Koda | 618 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #3 | DrMonkeyMan | 163 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koda | +1.97 | 91 | 34 |
| #2 | Groovy Quixx | +1.33 | 44 | 68 |
| #3 | DrMonkeyMan | +0.67 | 79 | 36 |
| #4 | assmilk | -0.79 | 56 | 43 |





