








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5439 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3732 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5068 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 432 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,428 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | czarny | 50% | 406 |
| #2 | ScrappY_CoCo | 50% | 274 |
| #3 | KRZ | 50% | 375 |
| #4 | Tweety | 47% | 278 |
| #5 | GuFFy | 44% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | czarny | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Tweety | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ScrappY_CoCo | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | KRZ | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | GuFFy | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | czarny | 974 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | Tweety | 253 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | GuFFy | 201 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | ScrappY_CoCo | 194 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | KRZ | 101 | 0.01 | 1 min |





