








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2004 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Esplay | 71 matches | 1,878 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7593 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6771 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6025 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5954 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,458 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





