








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1578 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1745 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1662 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,128 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Flex | 48% | 69 |
| #2 | ☁ Cloud 9/11 ☁ | 44% | 70 |
| #3 | acute asian grill | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Flex | 48% | 69 |
| #2 | ☁ Cloud 9/11 ☁ | 44% | 70 |
| #3 | acute asian grill | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Flex | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | ☁ Cloud 9/11 ☁ | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | acute asian grill | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Flex | 194 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ☁ Cloud 9/11 ☁ | 143 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | acute asian grill | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Flex | +3.59 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | ☁ Cloud 9/11 ☁ | +1.01 | 61 | 49 |
| #3 | acute asian grill | +0.73 | 59 | 35 |
| #4 | 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖕𝖊𝖗 - 𝖃 | -1.53 | 19 | 41 |





