








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 282 | 25% |
| Smokes | 356 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 321 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 150 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,967 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CP-yoo | 48% | 48 |
| #2 | Why always Lin? | 45% | 111 |
| #3 | ✪comeim♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | Sylvie | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | ξ. (✿> ₃ •̀๑)エ | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Why always Lin? | 45% | 111 |
| #3 | ✪comeim♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 44% | 117 |
| #4 | Sylvie | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | ξ. (✿> ₃ •̀๑)エ | 43% | 82 |
| #6 | G9G | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Why always Lin? | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | CP-yoo | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ξ. (✿> ₃ •̀๑)エ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ✪comeim♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Sylvie | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Why always Lin? | 518 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | ✪comeim♿♿♿♿♿♿ | 411 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | ξ. (✿> ₃ •̀๑)エ | 230 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | G9G | 196 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sylvie | 93 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Why always Lin? | +2.25 | 39 | 70 |
| #2 | ✪comeim♿♿♿♿♿♿ | +0.41 | 32 | 60 |
| #3 | YAMSMOSYMMHWSAGYNKDHMILYPDTMSA | +0.14 | 44 | 29 |
| #4 | CP-yoo | -0.07 | 55 | 36 |
| #5 | ξ. (✿> ₃ •̀๑)エ | -1.94 | 14 | 54 |





