








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3119 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2794 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2671 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2424 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,163 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nhanha | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | PEagle | 52% | 141 |
| #3 | Followrosa | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | mφcª | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | Sl4sh3r [PT] | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEagle | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Nhanha | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | mφcª | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Sl4sh3r [PT] | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Followrosa | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEagle | 409 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | mφcª | 295 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nhanha | 125 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vox | 54 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sl4sh3r [PT] | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nhanha | +2.65 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Mike Litoris | +1.60 | 63 | 85 |
| #3 | PEagle | +0.67 | 55 | 77 |
| #4 | Vox | -0.66 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Followrosa | -1.34 | 64 | 51 |





