








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2226 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,954 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SebolD | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Eierking | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Downrank 360hz | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | 「☠Booster´s-Bitch☠」 | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | 𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞ツ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eierking | 234 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | SebolD | 231 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Downrank 360hz | 165 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | 「☠☣Mr. Booster☣☠」 | 87 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Orange | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rikkert | +4.57 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | 𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞ツ | +2.67 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | .tz | +0.88 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | Orange | +0.12 | 56 | 71 |
| #5 | Downrank 360hz | -0.46 | 65 | 62 |





