










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6532 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7415 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6074 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5594 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,079 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1066 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔍𝔬𝔪𝔲𝔳𝔞𝔷 ★ | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | 49% | 110 |
| #3 | Kid buu | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Piquichu | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔍𝔬𝔪𝔲𝔳𝔞𝔷 ★ | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | 49% | 110 |
| #3 | Kid buu | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Piquichu | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kovadar_ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | 𝔍𝔬𝔪𝔲𝔳𝔞𝔷 ★ | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Piquichu | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Kid buu | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kovadar_ | 413 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Piquichu | 277 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kid buu | 118 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝔍𝔬𝔪𝔲𝔳𝔞𝔷 ★ | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piquichu | +2.08 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | +1.08 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | AlephX | -0.33 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | Kid buu | -0.82 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | 𝔍𝔬𝔪𝔲𝔳𝔞𝔷 ★ | -1.73 | 51 | 76 |





