








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2636 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1060 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,290 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 44% | 242 |
| #2 | scuzzy | 44% | 245 |
| #3 | coinnut | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 44% | 242 |
| #2 | scuzzy | 44% | 245 |
| #3 | coinnut | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scuzzy | 87 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | greg | 80 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | coinnut | 6 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 882 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | scuzzy | 428 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | coinnut | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peef | +0.41 | 42 | 45 |
| #2 | scuzzy | +0.03 | 39 | 35 |
| #3 | greg | -0.78 | 25 | 22 |
| #4 | coinnut | -2.11 | 7 | 20 |





